I remember Christmas growing up; we never had tons of money and only got one "big" present and a few little ones, often things that were related to our big present. The ones I remember the most were a 101 Dalmations tent (mostly meant for indoor camping) and a bicycle which I learned to ride in the park across the street from my house. I remember helping my little brother put together his Lego and KNEX sets and playing Operation with him when he was a toddler; he got so spooked by the noise!
I grew up going to church services, both of my parents had grown up in churches, but we weren't a "religious" household. For us, Christmas meant being together and being happy and taking time to reflect on the joy and gift of having family and friends to spend our time with. As we grew older and grew closer with those in our neighborhood, we grew to understand that family isn't just the people you're tied to by blood-- family is anyone that means a lot to you. Anyone whose presence enriches you and whose absence saddens you. Many of those people were at my wedding even though blood family chose church commitments over our big day.
I've been accused directly and indirectly by people of detracting from the "reason for the season" by having our wedding so close to Christmas. If I'd had my way, we would have had our wedding in the spring, outside, possibly in my old neighborhood. But, as I've explained to many, a wedding is about family and being together-- much like Christmas.
Thinking back on those Christmases growing up and the past few that I've had, and our wedding, I've come to realize even moreso that the people we call friends are our real family. Very few of our family either made a point of being there or even made a point of making an excuse. Indeed, the people whose schedules we most sought to accommodate all skipped out.
The last paragraph especially is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Our wedding anniversary was forgotten by all but a handful of people because folks were too busy preparing for Christmas. We'll never get anniversary presents, and we'll never get a card saying, "Congrats on another year of marriage." Perhaps I'm the only one who still sends cards like that, and yes it is selfish of me to think those things, but I devote quite a bit of time thinking ahead to what I can do to remember those I love.
That being said, Christmas is also a time of forgiveness; a time for all of us, myself included, to put aside these petty concerns and simply be happy for what we have and the blessings we have received whether by Fate or Faith. If I'm correct, that's the whole point of Jesus in Christianity-- He came as a symbol of forgiveness and love. and so His followers are to live each day by his example of loving freely and unconditionally.
I promise this is the end, and so my point is this:
Whether you're Christian, Agnostic, Atheist, or any other religion, the last month of the year is for all of us a reflection on the past and a way to look forward to the New Year-- a place where we make the decision of how to act towards others, including those who have hurt us or wronged us. As an individual not celebrating the birth of Christ, I still make an effort to clear my mind and sit silently, to consider how I can be a better, more positive person for myself, my friends, my family, and those I have yet to meet. To remind myself that I do not need to grow expectations of reciprocation on anything throughout the year.
I hope you have all had (or will have) a peaceful Winter Solstice (Yule, Saturnalia, etc), Christmas, Pancha Ganapati, Chanukah, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa and anything else I may have missed. Pictures to come from our Christmas trip, and I'm working on my New Years resolutions to post up next week-- I'm awaiting 2011 with baited breath!
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