Deep Breaths

I wish I could fly off to Phuket with Valerie this weekend, I could use a step back from everything! I'm really stressed because I haven't been making much at work and I have this whole paying for the wedding thing, not to mention the lots of tiny things that are stressing me out about the wedding thing, and trying to pay the rest of my bills... it's really stressful. I try to take deep breaths, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. I'm also a little bit irritated that since the economy is down, nobody's stocking the inventory they usually do which means that my brilliant plan to get lots of fun decorations from Valentine's Day clearance was severely thwarted!

To escape, I'm turning to making cards and thinking about going back on the citalopram to help me manage and be able to take a step back and look objectively at things. I'm going to start a new budget as of Monday that's a little different than the one I've been working on (which assumes a certain amount of income every month) and instead put away money for the things I know I'm going to have to pay-- $100 for prescriptions, $70 for the phone, $30 for gas (since I don't really go much of anywhere), $30 towards the wedding (I'm trying to put in at least $10 a week), and then at the end of the month I'll split the rest amongst my bills and send off checks. I'm hoping that will help me relax a little bit, and maybe end up with a few extra bucks here and there for all these babies that are popping up! In the next three or four months, Krystal, Meg, Kimberly, and someone else (gah, why can't I remember!) are all having babies!

Baby shopping will be totally therapeutic, the clothes are so adorable and two of the babies are boys and one's (Cy) father does ATC for the Marines and the other's (Peanut for now) mom used to be a First Officer at XJT and this afternoon at Target I found some little cammo socks and onesies and bibs with airplanes and jets on them. I also found the perfect blanket for Vera (Meg's baby girl), it's totally 60's and Meg will love it. I had to keep myself from buying all the totally adorable little print dresses on clearance for Analia-- they'd be perfect for Singapore and would look SO cute on her! And they had them in toddler sizes since we won't see them until Christmas and shipping anything over an ounce (aka, a letter) is just insane! If they go down under $5 each, I may still pick up a couple to keep around-- being kid's clothes, they don't take up much space, and Valerie's said that trying to buy kid's clothing over there is expensive and not very cute. There were even some little oshkosh twill capris which would be good since it rains a lot and wet hems are no fun!

Yes, we have concluded that I just need to have my own little girl so I can dress her up and not have to worry about spoiling other people's children...

Anyway, I need to go move my car so that dad can park in the morning and then hit the hay! He didn't realize he was going to have to have his eyes dialated (hello, they have to look at a busted vein in your retina-- what about that makes you think you'll be able to drive afterwards?) so I'm taking him in the morning and he's taking me for breakfast afterwards.

Ciao!